i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
My vagina is officially offended.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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