Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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