there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
