Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
