I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
the condom got lost in my hair
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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