No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
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