my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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