anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Randomize
