Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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