Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
