I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Randomize
