i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I lost the right to judge tonight
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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