The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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