yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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