No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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