going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
