Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
