i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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