I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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