I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
