He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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