It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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