I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize