dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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