I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
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So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
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Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
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