ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Porn is love you can see.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers