Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Don't you send me to vm

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  (248): Don't you send me to vm http://tfl.nu/tac7
  Replies (4) Good night (1099) Bad night (1617)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.

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  (813): Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago. http://tfl.nu/p2wp
  Replies (20) Good night (3748) Bad night (721)
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  (408): View more from California

  man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"

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  (408): man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt" http://tfl.nu/3qgn
  Replies (22) Good night (892) Bad night (3319)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete

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  (484): maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete http://tfl.nu/m91r
  Replies (10) Good night (3918) Bad night (875)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.

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  (817): HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis. http://tfl.nu/iuvq
  Replies (28) Good night (6067) Bad night (1009)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'

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  (813): the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive' http://tfl.nu/7wwl
  Replies (3) Good night (792) Bad night (2628)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...

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  (970): No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand... http://tfl.nu/1d8q
  Replies (10) Good night (861) Bad night (4952)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless

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  (914): Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless http://tfl.nu/meln
  Replies (5) Good night (1124) Bad night (452)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion

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  (615): That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion http://tfl.nu/imr6
  Replies (3) Good night (821) Bad night (432)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?

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  (612): There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night? http://tfl.nu/9ive
  Replies (6) Good night (1160) Bad night (301)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this

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  (703): I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this http://tfl.nu/f56c
  Replies (2) Good night (635) Bad night (578)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom

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  (443): i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom http://tfl.nu/onuv
  Replies (0) Good night (493) Bad night (380)
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..

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  (323): I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI.. http://tfl.nu/w8q4
  Replies (3) Good night (561) Bad night (358)
• Favorite

  (213): View more from California

  She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.

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  (213): She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay. http://tfl.nu/t6l3
  Replies (1) Good night (524) Bad night (328)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"

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  (240): Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin" http://tfl.nu/qnbq
  Replies (2) Good night (216) Bad night (529)

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