Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
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You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home