Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(778): View more from British Columbia

we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever

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(409): View more from Texas

The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.

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(316): View more from Kansas

You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.

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(206): View more from Washington

Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(662): View more from Mississippi

Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.

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(760): View more from California

I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?

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(615): View more from Tennessee

I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia

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(314): View more from Missouri

Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.

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(440): View more from Ohio

I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.

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