Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
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he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
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