She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
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It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
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There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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