I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize