Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league