Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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