you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Just invented taco cereal.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Randomize
