Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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