Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
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trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
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It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.