i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.