Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  I'm pants shitting drunk right now

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): I'm pants shitting drunk right now http://tfl.nu/z85l
  Replies (4) Good night (1014) Bad night (996)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (740): Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong? http://tfl.nu/7sw3
  Replies (13) Good night (3994) Bad night (895)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  ...there is blood under my fingernails.

  (515): View more from Iowa

  ...I hope my roomates are okay.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (515): ...there is blood under my fingernails. (515): ...I hope my roomates are okay. http://tfl.nu/jgvb
  Replies (7) Good night (1078) Bad night (3443)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face! http://tfl.nu/2men
  Replies (24) Good night (1443) Bad night (4852)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (337): He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share. http://tfl.nu/463q
  Replies (2) Good night (2242) Bad night (976)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car. http://tfl.nu/8ezv
  Replies (11) Good night (2014) Bad night (1030)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it http://tfl.nu/80uu
  Replies (7) Good night (5100) Bad night (1076)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (502): Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not? http://tfl.nu/b1wq
  Replies (48) Good night (5255) Bad night (1369)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers. http://tfl.nu/t7fg
  Replies (6) Good night (604) Bad night (1207)
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (224): Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds. http://tfl.nu/o3kx
  Replies (7) Good night (1767) Bad night (926)
• Favorite

  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (709): He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes. http://tfl.nu/6yst
  Replies (6) Good night (744) Bad night (881)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time http://tfl.nu/bvah
  Replies (8) Good night (1036) Bad night (467)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (650): she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?" http://tfl.nu/za23
  Replies (2) Good night (558) Bad night (320)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries. http://tfl.nu/pkrn
  Replies (4) Good night (707) Bad night (344)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?

  (630): View more from Illinois

  only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby (1-630): Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted? (630): only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby. (1-630): Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here http://tfl.nu/fcdg
  Replies (2) Good night (487) Bad night (472)

Randomize