We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
they call him Oral-B. enough said
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize