i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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