Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
