Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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