If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
