you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
