I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
