it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
