i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
