Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
