I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Boobs are out for the taking
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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