Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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