So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
