After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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