So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
