I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
