Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
