Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
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