THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Is it because I queefed?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
