She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
