Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
