if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
