Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I just had sex on a roof
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize