I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
