ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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