you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
