WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
