all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
