You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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