I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
