But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
