just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Life is so much better after having sex.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
