OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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