Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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