Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
he puts the penis in happiness.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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