I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
